Sparks suggests giving a hand job with the purpose of destressing and pleasing your partner. So, hand jobs can sometimes seem like a checklist item, but that’s the exact wrong way to go into giving one. O’Neill suggests asking something “does that feel good?” or “Would you like it tight?” to get the ball rolling. Whether your partner prefers lots of lube or just a little (uncircumcised people sometimes enjoy stimulation without lube, says Rahner) or if they like a light touch or firm touch, the best way to figure it out is to ask. Sex educator Jennifer Rahner says simply asking what they like is one of the most efficient ways to become a pro. The real secret to a great handy is to figure out exactly what your partner wants. O’Neill suggests using the same amount of pressure and speed you’d use to rub your clitoris to rub your partner’s shaft. If you’re a vagina owner, you can still apply some of the same techniques to your partner that you use on yourself. If you have a penis, chances are you already have a good idea of what feels good. Make Sex Better: Buy These Couples' Vibrators 6. When giving a handy, keep this in mind and try to mimic that feeling by wrapping your hands around their penis and gradually increasing the pressure. Bring on the applied pressure.ĭuring penetrative sex, the walls of the vagina or anus kind of hug the penis, giving it a nice tight feeling, explains O’Neill. You don’t have to do the exact same thing, but you’ll def want to play off of what you see he already likes.
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“Does he stay more to the top around the head of the penis or full stroke top to bottom, or somewhere in the middle with shorter strokes? He is your best teacher on how he loves his penis stroked,” she explains. And pay attention to his technique.Īs he’s going at it, Taylor Sparks, an erotic educator and founder of Organic Loven, suggests making a mental note of the types of strokes he uses and areas he focuses on.
If you’re both comfortable with it, a lil show and tell can go a long way.
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Your partner probably knows some of their favorite ways to be touched, and an easy way to mimic that is by literally just watching them masturbate, says international sex educator and creator of the Sex Hacker Pro Course Kenneth Play. “Your enthusiasm will be palatable, so make sure the pleasure is just as much your own as your partner’s.” 3. “The more aroused you are, the more naturally everything will flow,” she explains. Yup, feeling sexually excited yourself will actually make your handies even better, says ASTROGLIDE resident sexologist Jess O’Reilly, PhD.
“As you glide over their skin, begin focusing more and more attention on the penis.” 2.
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“This spreads the lube/oil all over the skin and warms up the area,” Tang explains. Once they’re feeling good, move to their inner thighs and sweep over the penis until you hit the belly button, then start again at the inner thighs. Grab some oil or lube and start by massaging your partner’s back, butt, and feet. Instead of just going straight for the penis and devoting all of your focus there, Tang suggests viewing the hand job as more of a sensual massage experience. Grab a bottle of lotion or lube and get ready to take some notes.ĭry Humping Is Better Than Sex and You Know It 1. So, if you're both game, here are 27 of the best hand job tips out there. Ultimately, folding handies into your sexual routine can be exciting and pleasurable for both partners. This way, you might both realize how much fun it is to rewind the clock and go back to the days of pre-penetration play when you were less concerned about racing to orgasm and more focused on just enjoying the moment. "Take a playful approach, instead of a goal-oriented or task-focused one," she explains. "Having the right mindset is always a good place to start," adds certified sexologist Sara Tang.
You gotta change how you view them, she says.Īlso know that a hand job is not just a job.
Jaw's tired? Hand job! Anal sounds like a nightmare? HAND JOB! Even if you just want to mix things up, hand jobs absolutely must be incorporated into your sex life.Īnd as it turns out, giving an amazing handy is not only possible, but thanks to the experts we asked, it’s also attainable.įirst thing to know: If you view hand jobs as juvenile, then that’s exactly what they’ll be, explains sexologist Malika O’Neill, founder and CEO of The Pleasure Collective. The reason: If you're not feeling vaginal intercourse? Hand job. Since it's maybe been a minute since hand jobs were a part of your repertoire, you might not have realized they're still absolutely worth your time, attention, and skill.
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